Do As I Say, Not As I Do…

Great article By Judy Hoberman on September 19, 2013

One of the activities I love the most is being a mentor for young women. I believe this goes back to being the only female in many industries and having no female role model to follow. I knew I was missing something.

Over the past few years, I have had the pleasure and honor of mentoring some amazing young women. Of course, my first and most JudyHoberman_DoWhatISayspecial is my daughter. She is so very important in my life, and I hope I have lived up to her expectations. From her earliest years, she was independent and intelligent, and I learned so much from her — and that has helped me reach many of MY dreams.

While spending the afternoon with one of my young mentees discussing her future plans and how, as moms say, her entire future was in front of her, I was thrust into the old cliché of “Do as I say, not as I do” because I found myself giving her some solid advice… that I should be following myself.

She was contemplating the choices that had been presented to her and trying to decide how to choose the right path — was it about security, passion, or just becoming a responsible young adult? She was an intelligent young woman with the most amazing work ethic and integrity, and was proud of who she was and where she came from. She was passionate about some things and tolerant of others, but how did she make one decision when there were so many options in front of her?

The first question I asked her, that my business coach asked me some years ago, “If you could do anything you wanted and money, time and age would not be a factor and you could NOT fail, what would it be?”

Most people have trouble with this, but she had some definite answers. As she was speaking, I knew I needed to call someone that she should be connected to… and we did that at that moment. She was now starting her road map to reach her goals.

We continued peeling back the onion, and with each piece, we came up with ideas and strategies with agreed upon completion dates. We then wrote the items down on her calendar and the goal setting began.

Now, how does this relate to me? Aren’t I the coach for women who helps them map out their life plans? Aren’t I the sales trainer guru who has taught goal setting a million times? Aren’t I the one who is supposed to be the savvy entrepreneur who has her act together? Well… I thought I did to some extent before our meeting.

Here’s what I learned, and I thank my beautiful mentee for pinning me down to my own devices:

  1. Write down your goals. Understand that they might need some adjusting and rearranging. Even though you may not have reached all of your goals, you still have time to make some changes. If you just talk about them, they are beautiful dreams….
  2. Have someone to bounce things off of. Your ideas might sound reasonable until you say them out loud. An objective person can add valuable insight. That’s why we all have coaches. Elite athletes have coaches. Coaches have coaches. You may simply need someone who will hold you accountable.
  3. Never give up on your dreams! Sometimes they may seem out of reach, but with some discussion and other resources they become crystal clear. Keep that picture in front of you, and when things seem out of reach, take a deep breath, remember your goals, put one foot in front of the other, and get going!

Remember… Every day is the beginning of a new dream. Focus on what is important to you and make your dreams come true.

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 “This article is reprinted with permission by, the Premier Resource For 30+ Million Women Entrepreneurs. Visit them for free instant access to their Success Tools.”


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