Last month, Ann Evanston wrote an article about your Unlimited Space and Potential. In it, she made three observations that I find hold many women entrepreneurs back from having Bad-Assery in their business. Here she discusses the second of those three points.
Yes, I know, I just made some of you crazy because I skipped the first one and went straight to #2! You know that’s okay, right? Why, you ask? Because Warriors choose their own destiny, missions, and fates! So are you a Warrior, or merely a soldier?
Actually, the second point – knowing and owning up to your self-worth – has been a frequent topic of discussion, not only with clients but with friends and family as well. In addition, many of you took the “Pillars of Self-Worth” mini-assessment I offered as a gift to you in the last article. From that, I received numerous e-mails and questions about the deeper meaning behind the Three Pillars of Self-Worth. So let’s dig a little deeper into that. Are you ready?
First, and most important: The basic definition of “self-worth.”
In graduate school, I studied psychology and business development, and I’ve used this definition for over 25 years (Holy cow! How did I get so old?):
Self-worth is the relationship you have with yourself.
The one you have with YOURSELF. Alone. Naked. In front of the mirror with just the thoughts in your head. (I can already hear your internal critic through the Internet energy waves: “Oh geez, Ann. Really? No way. Gross!”)
Yes, really. It’s time to get rid of your critic. How you think and feel about yourself IS your self-worth.
The Three Pillars of Self-Worth build the foundation of this relationship. The pillars are:
1. Control: Do you have a sense of choice in your life, or does life control you? When you have a sense of control, no matter what happens you feel ready to adapt, find needed resources, solve the problem, have fun… whatever arises. For example, last month I had a personal emergency surprise me literally two minutes before a client call. But because I have a sense of choice, and therefore control, I knew how to handle the situation without stress or drama.
Tip: Want more control? Stop the mind games. What you tell yourself about why you fail, why you don’t have the success you want, or why people treat you the way they do is a mind game that leaves you out of control. Time to stop!
2. Commitment: Are you committed to, and involved with, the things you value and believe in? While recently working with a client to achieve Bad-Assery in her business, I realized she had an internal struggle, so I asked her this question. Her answer: “I don’t know what I value, Ann. I just get up and do what needs to be done.” Live your values every day by allowing them to guide your decisions. Breathe life into them with everything you do… that is owning your self-worth.
Tip: Want greater commitment? Learn to say “no” when things do not align with your values.
3. Challenge: Are you willing to take risks and try new things? Entrepreneurs, by definition, are risk takers – they have to be, especially if they want Bad-Assery businesses. Are you someone who says (even internally), “I only…” or “I never…” or “I don’t really like…”? You see? You have to be willing to challenge yourself on a personal level to expand your potential, and then your business can expand with you.
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